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Cast and CrewStarring: Ken Jeong,Matt Lanter,
Charlie Weber,Marcelle Baer,
Chris Riggi,Jenn Proske
Directed by: Jason Friedberg,Aaron Seltzer
Produced by: Jason Friedberg,Aaron Seltzer
Screenwriter: Jason Friedberg,Aaron Seltzer
Theaters: August 18, 2010
Distributed by: 20th Century Fox
Genres: Comedy,Spoof
Running Time: 80 minutes
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The Story:
“Vampires Suck” is a comedy about contemporary teen angst and romance movies. Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca’s friends contend with their own romantic issues – all of which collide at the prom.
While many earnest filmmakers are still trying to get the attention of major studios, the ridiculous pair of talentless writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer continues to find employment in Hollywood with their fifth collaboration “Vampire Sucks”.As expected, “Vampire Sucks” carries the duo’s trademark skills in parodying the latest pop-culture and this time round, the wildly popular “Twilight” franchise becomes their targeted choice. And yes, if you must know there is a storyline involving a lovelorn teenager Becca Crane who is torn between a pale complexion vampire, Edward Sullen and a hunky werewolf Jacob White. Sounds familiar? Trust me, it only gets worse by the minute as the numerous gags and juvenile humour came in fast and furious desperately hoping to tickle you pink.
This lame parody merely recreates most of the memorable sequences of “Twilight” and “New Moon”, adds in some lazily constructed jokes and stitches them into an 82 minutes feature. Do you exactly find Becca farting on Edward funny or a bunch of half-naked werewolves breaking into song-and-dance segment that hilarious? Well if this is not enough to satisfy your curiosity, “Vampire Sucks” is filled to the brim with other pop-culture references including Tiger Woods, Jonas Brothers, Chris Brown and even Alice in Wonderland. Basically everyone that hit the tabloids for the past year gets a shot even Twilight author herself, Stephanie Meyer is not spared either.
Its amazing consider the quality from the directing duo got far worse over the years beginning with “Date Movie” and the last being “Disaster Movie”. If there is that teeny-weeny spot of spark in this mess, they belonged to newcomer Jenn Proske who did her homework copying Kristen Stewart’s every single move and expression. The second goes to Ken Jeong (The Hangover) who showcased his usual perfect comic timing as a vampire, what else.
If you think we are a bunch of snobbish movie reviewers that prefer arty-farty award-winning dramas then you are so wrong. We embrace digestible, summer blockbusters liked anyone else. We even love the “Scary Movie” series. Heck, we even go to the extent of proclaiming our love for Michael Bay. But seriously, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer? Give me Jim Abrahams (Hot Shots), David Zucker (The Naked Gun) and even the late Benny Hill anytime. These are the guys that truly know what is comedy and parody.Vampires Suck Movie Review:
his was bound to happen eventually; Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the guys behind Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie and Disaster Movie are about to tackle another Hollywood craze: vampires. Vampires Suck stars newcomer Jenn Proske as a girl name Becca and — guess what — she finds herself torn between two boys, a brooding vampire and a were – er, Chihuahua. Before she can even choose between the two, she’s got to deal with her overprotective father, the Jersey Shore cast and Lady Gaga.
Just because these spoofs have a low price tag and generate a decent profit doesn’t give Fox the right to keep dumping them on us. When’s the last time you’ve seen a quality parody film? The only two I can think of that I’d willingly sit through again are Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie, but it’s been nearly a decade since those two hit theaters and since then we’ve been subjected to spoof upon spoof that merely regurgitate material we’ve already seen via bad acting and, um, we’re expected to laugh? The idea of a film poking fun at The Twilight Saga actually sounds promising, especially because it’s due to hit theaters on August 18th, right in the midst of the craze, but after watching the film’s brand new trailer, it’s impossible not to connect it to the atrocities Friedberg and Seltzer have sent our way. I can’t lie, I did smirk at a few of the gags, but the only really encouraging element here is the involvement of Ken Jeong. The guy can’t be desperate for work, so there’s got to be something good about Vampires Suck, right? Or do you think it just plain sucks?
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