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We have now reached that moment in time where one must face up to the cruelest aspect of the World Cup, which is that it will be another four years before one glorious month of summer is given over to being captivated by the greatest sports tournament in the world. As the writer Aleksandar Hemon remarked last month: "A sad fact of human existence is that an average life seldom contains more than 20 World Cups--our games are tragically numbered." Alas, all there is left to do now is look back on what was,
Overall, the 2010 World Cup provided its share of memorable moments: a first-time champion in Spain; a national disgrace in France; a psychic octopus in Paul, and a historic setting in South Africa. The South American teams looked invincible during the group stage but all fell apart by the quarterfinals, with the exception of Uruguay. For the second tournament in a row it was an all-European final. Netherlands-Spain wasn't a great game in the end, but that's pretty much par for the course. At least the best squad won.
As for U.S.A. fans, they were treated to their share ecstasy and agony as the national team both mounted amazing comebacks and also squandered a great opportunity to go deep into the tournament. Such are the joys and sorrows of the World Cup. Better luck in four years.
And so before we completely say goodbye to the 2010 World Cup, here are 30 of the best and worst moments from this year's tournament.
1 There were no doubt a few teenage boys around the world who found themselves suddenly rooting for Paraguay to go all the way after a beautiful 24-year-old lingerie model named Larissa Riquelme pledged to run naked through the streets "with my body painted with the colors of Paraguay" if the team won the World Cup. Just how devoted is Riquelme to her country? Despite their having gone out in the quarterfinals, Riquelme has decided to run naked anyways as a "present" to the team. Losing has never looked so good.
2 In a tournament marked by instances of spotty goalkeeping, England goalie Robert Green's blunder against the U.S. easily rose above the rest as a moment of true bumbling horror. Even Clint Dempsey, who Green so graciously gifted a goal, seemed to feel sorry for him after the game. Green was swiftly replaced in the England net by the equally gaffe-proned David "Calamity" James. Long live the "hand of clod.
3 Landon Donovan's heart-stopping last minute goal against Algeria to rescue the Yanks from elimination will go down as one of the great moments in U.S. soccer history. It was also a redemption of sorts for the U.S. star, who had been criticized over the years for supposedly not having what it takes to truly compete at the top level. For one game at least, Donovan was an American hero, and he gave fans something to truly be proud of. Yes, the U.S. team was ultimately exposed as totally second-rate, but there and then, they provided an instance of World Cup ecstasy.
4 While Netherlands midfielder Mark van Bommel did everything he could during the tournament to burnish his reputation as the pre-eminent Dutch thug, he was outdone at the last minute by teammate Nigel de Jong, who straight up drop-kicked Spain's Xabi Alonso during the final. It barely merits mentioning that the ball was nowhere near his chest.
5 No moment reignited the debate over whether FIFA needs to embrace the use of extra referees and video technology than the Frank Lampard goal that wasn't against Germany. Everyone in the stadium and at home could see the ball clearly crossed the line; hell, even German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer said he knew it was a goal, but just kept playing anyhow. The only people who didn't notice this were the ones paid to notice such things: the refs. Will someone finally decide to save these imperfect creatures from themselves? FIFA President Sepp Blatter said the organization would "review" the issue, which in bureaucrat speak means he
promises plenty more of the same in 2014.
6 Sara Carbonero, the attractive TV reporter and girlfriend of Spanish keeper Iker Casillas, was, of all things, blamed for Spain's surprise loss to Switzerland in the opening game of the tournament, the theory being that she had distracted Casillas both before and during the match with her presence on the sidelines. This conjecture was weakened somewhat by subsequent games in which Spain won and Carbonero was at the match. Presumably Spain's World Cup win has exhausted any remaining enmity among fans still holding on to this absurd notion.
7 If before the World Cup started someone had bet you that the All Whites would end the tournament as the only team not to lose a single game you might have thought them crazy. And yet, that was the case, as the scrappy squad won three well-earned draws against the likes of Italy, Paraguay and Slovakia. Sure, it didn't help them to advance beyond their group, but it's certainly far more than anyone expected when it all began. And still far, far better than France.
8 Ghana's Asamoah Gyan found himself with a chance to be a national hero when he walked up to take the penalty kick in the 120th minute of the quarterfinal against Uruguay following Luis Suarez's controversial goal-line handball. His shot, sadly, hit the crossbar, sending the game to a penalty shootout that Ghana would ultimately lose, thereby bringing Africa's run in the World Cup to a close. But Gyan himself showed what it means to be a true competitor when, instead of falling apart following his critical miss, he strode forward and smashed home the team's first penalty kick as if the previous few minutes had never happened.
9 Of all the dysfunction produced by France at the World Cup, perhaps nothing was more astonishing then when forward Nicolas Anelka reportedly responded to a piece of criticism from coach Raymond Domenech during halftime of the team's game against Mexico by saying "Go fuck yourself you son of a whore." If only he had brought that kind of passion and tenacity on the field!
10 Puyol's goal in Spain's semifinal victory over Germany provided not just an occasion to celebrate the man's heading ability but also the man's head itself, or more specifically, the sublime heavy-metal hairdo that adorns it. Despite pleas to cut it over the years, the Spanish defender has resolutely stood by his signature look. Why mess with success.
11 Everyone's favorite prognosticating German cephalopod mollusk was the undisputed media darling of the 2010 tournament for good reason: Paul was a perfect 8 for 8 in his World Cup picks. The bookies in Vegas had nothing on this guy. Unswayed by appeals to nationalist sentiment, Paul made the tough calls that are the psychic's fate, picking Spain to beat his fellow Germans in the semifinals. Octopuses everywhere have Paul to thank for elevating the species and hopefully sparing at least some of them from appearing on menus in the immediate future.
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